According to a report from the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), online grooming crimes against children have skyrocketed by 89% over the past six years. According to the report, police in the UK recorded 7,000 cases of “sexual communication with a child” between 2023 and 2024 alone. Shockingly, 81% of these crimes targeted girls, and even primary school children weren’t spared.
While these horrific acts have been happening for years, they’ve recently gained attention again due to the U.K. Grooming Gang Scandal in January 2025. Although authorities are doing their best to address the issue, protecting your child starts at home. As a parent, it’s critical to know the signs of grooming and abuse so you can step in before it’s too late.
Here’s what to know.
What Is Grooming?
Grooming isn’t random—it’s calculated and deliberate. Predators work methodically to gain access to children, build trust, and manipulate them into accepting abuse. What makes it especially dangerous is its gradual nature. These manipulators don’t just target children—they work to win over parents, families, and entire communities to lower defenses and create opportunities.
10 Key Child Grooming and Abuse Signs to Watch For
It’s a scary thought, but being aware of the signs can help protect your child from grooming, whether it’s happening online or offline. Let’s break down the most common red flags and how you can respond effectively.
Unexplained Gifts or Money
Has your child suddenly started receiving gifts, money, or other things you didn’t give them? Groomers often use gifts to build trust and create a sense of obligation. These could range from small items like toys to expensive gadgets. If your child can’t explain where these gifts came from, it’s a warning sign.
What you can do:
- Gently ask your child about it.
- Keep an eye on their communication for any clues.
Secrecy About Activities or Friendships
Groomers thrive on secrecy. They might pressure your child to keep things hidden, especially when it comes to who they’re talking to or what they’re doing. If your child becomes more secretive than usual, especially online, that’s a red flag.
What you can do:
- Encourage open conversations with your child. Let them know they won’t be punished for being honest.
- Check their devices and social media regularly for anything unusual.
Excessive Use of Technology
Since groomers often operate online, if your child is spending too much time on their devices—especially late at night—something could be going on.
What you can do:
- Set boundaries around screen time.
- Use parental control apps to monitor their online activity.
Sudden Mood Changes
Grooming involves emotional manipulation. If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, or more irritable than usual, it could be because they’re involved with someone.
What you can do:
- Notice these mood swings and talk about them in a non-judgy way.
- Let your child know it’s safe to tell you what’s on their mind.
New Friendships with Older People
It’s okay for kids to have older friends, but when someone much older starts getting very close to your child, it could be grooming. Groomers often pose as cool, trusted adults.
What you can do:
- Be cautious about any new older friends who show an unusual interest in your child.
- Look into the nature of the relationship and set clear boundaries if needed.
Avoiding Certain People
If your child suddenly starts avoiding certain people or situations, it could mean something’s not right. Groomers may use fear, intimidation, or physical advances to control children.
What you can do:
- Ask your child gently why they’re avoiding certain people or situations.
- Trust your gut and intervene if something doesn’t feel right.
Explicit Conversations Beyond What Is Appropriate for Their Age
If your child is talking about things that are too mature for their age, it could be a sign they’re being exposed to inappropriate content. Groomers often use this tactic to desensitize kids to harmful behavior.
What you can do:
- Talk to your child about what’s inappropriate. Encourage them to speak up if someone crosses the line.
- Keep an eye on their conversations for any red flags.
Changes in Appearance or Behavior
Groomers sometimes try to influence how children look or act to fit their own preferences. This could involve changes in clothing, hairstyle, or even how your child interacts with others.
What you can do:
- Discuss these changes openly without accusing your child.
- Ask about the reasons behind their new look or behavior.
Losing Interest in Hobbies or Friends
Groomers try to isolate children, making them lose interest in the things or people they once enjoyed. This is a way for them to gain more control over the child’s life.
What you can do:
- Encourage your child to reconnect with their hobbies and friends.
- Watch for signs of isolation and address them quickly.
Fear of Being Punished for Speaking Up
Groomers often convince children that they’ll get into trouble if they tell anyone about their relationship. This fear keeps kids silent.
What you can do:
- Create a safe, supportive space where your child feels comfortable talking about anything.
- Reassure them that they will never be blamed for speaking out.
How to Protect Your Child
Recognizing the signs of grooming is just the beginning. It’s equally important to take action to protect your child. Here’s how you can help:
Teach Boundaries. Make sure your child knows what kind of behavior is okay and what isn’t. Teach them to speak up if they feel uncomfortable.
Stay Involved. Keep up with your child’s day-to-day life. Ask about their day, their friends, and anything that feels important.
Monitor Technology Use. Keep an eye on their online activities. Talk to them about the risks of online predators and how to stay safe.
Trust Your Instincts. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Dig deeper, and don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.
Taking Action
If you notice any of these signs, do this:
Document Everything
Make a detailed record of:
- Dates and times of incidents
- Screenshots of bad messages or posts
- Notes about changes in your child’s behavior
- Names of witnesses
- Photos or physical evidence
- Conversations with school officials or other adults
Have the Tough Talk
When talking to your child:
- Choose a quiet moment
- Stay calm
- Use language they can understand
- Tell them they’re not in trouble
- Let them tell you at their own speed
- Believe them
Additional Steps to Take
- Talk to your child’s school counselor
- Talk to a child psychologist or family therapist
- Report to the authorities
- Get legal advice if needed
- Join a parent support group
Resources and Help
Wherever you call home in any part of the world, keep these numbers handy:
- National Child Abuse Hotline
- Local Police
- Child Protective Services
- Family Therapist
Remember, grooming and abuse are never the child’s fault. If you suspect any kind of abuse, don’t wait—act. Your response could be the difference between stopping abuse and helping a child.
